Alternative Wine Words to Use in Lieu of “Funky”

Written by Eliza Dumais

Illustration by Cerise Zelenetz

“Funk” contains multitudes. The oh-so-eclectic noun can connote: A coolly danceable genre of music, a layered (foul) scent, a certain brooding form of ennui. In British slang, it can be used mockingly to describe a coward. And in the wine world, too, the term is tossed about so committedly, it’s essentially become synonymous with “natural.”

If we’re talking syntax, however, the term is hardly always accurate (by definition, it’s musty, stinky, smokey). Typically, it’s wielded as a placeholder when we can’t locate more tailored descriptors. And the truth is, approaching a bartender or a wine shop clerk armed with nothing but the adamant desire to drink something funky—or even, something “fucked up”—isn’t nearly as helpful as we’d like to think.

“To me, natural wine's love of the term draws on both the foul smell definition, and the rhythmic musical definition,” says Ray Isle, executive wine editor at Food & Wine magazine, and author of the The World in a Wine Glass — a just-published tome of biblical wisdom (and length). “First, there’s the acceptance of aromatic characteristics that are typically not ok in classical winemaking like brett, and VA and second, it’s about a kind of cool, moves-you-differently, not-old-white-guy-wine sensibility.”

At the most basic level, we’re often using “funky” to refer to that sour, kombucha-y aura of ferment detectable in many natural wines. And as a quality often associated with unfiltered and unfined wines, we’re not denying the fact that it’s a helpful gateway term. “I don’t have a problem with the word, funky,” says Fernelly Sarria Jr, server at Wildair, wine buyer at Nowadays. “It feels like a great equalizer when folks are ordering wine. And whether or not it’s the most specific, it still does help me determine what I should or should not offer someone on a base level.”

The idea, then, is not to ban “funky,” but rather, to help you find the proper follow-up descriptors to help you better locate your ideal bottle. We’re looking to refine your taste in the unfined, if you will. “Unless I’m replacing [funky] with a synonym like kooky, or stylish, I tend to lean texture — words like crunchy, or fuzzy — or, on personification,” adds Joseph Signa, a server at Brooklyn’s Anais. “Think: she’s got a wild side, or she’s definitely coming on strong.”

Long story long, “funky” holds a sacred station of import in natural wine discourse. And while elements of the tasting note can be evidence of flawed winemaking, they can also masquerade as the punk-rock answer to the stronghold of conventional wine. “As George Clinton & Parliament sang, we want the funk,” says Isle. “Seems like that natural world is on the same wavelength, more or less.” And while it’s important to note that plenty of natty wines — even zero/zero cuvées — can taste exceptionally clean in nature, it’s time we graduated to a new shortlist of terms, regardless.

With that in mind, we’ve culled together a list of words driven by the funk sensibility, designed to help you get to the heart of what, exactly, you’re looking for when selecting a wine:

Volatile Acidity

Volatile acidity is an element that hits hard on the nose. It generally gives way to vinegar-y flavors like nail polish remover, permanent marker, or paint thinner. And while it can be considered a flaw in certain wines when imbalanced, it can absolutely operate as an asset, too. If you like that kind of acetone kick (think: wines that “bite back”), it doesn’t hurt to mention as much to your server.

Oxidative

When a wine is exposed to air, a series of chemical reactions are triggered that can concentrate the color (if a wine is too oxidized, it can turn an eerie brown color) and spawn flavors that lean umami, savory, gassy, nutty, and even bruised-apple-esque.

Reductive

Unlike with oxidative wines, reductive aromas are created by limiting oxygen exposure during winemaking and bottling process as much as possible.The best way to detect reductiveness in a wine, however, is to look for notes of flint, smoke, matchstick and, dare we say, rotten eggs.

Barnyardy

Often caused by brett, which is a yeast endemic to the winemaking process, this is a great signifier for wines that are super intense on the nose, with aromas that verge horsey, manure-like, and hay-esque. Sure, that may sound vile…but we assure you, it’s not nearly as pungent as it sounds. Next time you take a whiff of something decidedly funky, look out for a certain air of barn animal. And if that sits well with you, the smell of actual barnyards may grow ever more appealing.

Hazy/Cloudy

In the realm of texture and color (rather than taste), hazy and cloudy can absolutely be helpful terms. For unfiltered, unfined wines, look for a quality that’s vaguely opaque, whereby the wine is shrouded/misty and thus likely to give off a more structured or dense mouth feel.

Crunchy

Also in the campus of texture, tactile words like “crunchy” can be super helpful. You’ll likely use this one to describe wines that are fresh and pronounced in their acidity and somewhat structural. In the metaphorical sense, picture ripe, green things that “crunch” audibly when you bite into them.

Glou Glou

Named for the sound emitted when one chugs wine directly from the bottle (glug-glug, but make it French), glou glou is a term commonly used for utterly “chuggable” wines. If you want something jammy, light, fruit-forward — easy-drinking, essentially — make this a go-to descriptor. You might also turn to terms like “crushable” and “porch pounder.”